MISS SNARKY 7/18/12

Snark #1 7/18/12

Mountain Lion Safety

Actual communiqué from government wildlife people on how to behave around mountain lions. Snarky comments in parentheses are mine. Snarky is my favorite new word, and is, I believe, self explanatory. If not, Google it for the definition.
1) Do not feed them (that goat you were going to stake out so you could get some good pictures? Don’t do it!).
2) Do not approach them (especially if they’re eating a goat).
3) Should you be attacked, call 911 (that’s assuming you are not a replacement for the goat–in that case, have your next of kin call 911).
Okay. I admit mountains lions are nothing to laugh about. Be careful. They are out there. After I saw one a few years ago, I went to a meeting where DFG explained that normally humans don’t seem to fit the lions’ instinctive perception of prey–i.e. vertical posture. That probably means you need to pee standing up, even if you’re a woman. After doing this a few times, you will probably have a distinctive odor about your person. Avoid other humans until you have rectified this matter.
There have only been 15 confirmed mountain lion attacks in CA since 1899. For more info, see http:www.dfg.gov/news/issues/lion/attacks.html
This public service message has been brought to you by my own snarky self! You are very welcome!
Nancy Carnahan
Downieville, CA 95936

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